


Cause Why Not

by Mister_Rat



Category: TaleSpin (TV)
Genre: Baloo Is Secretly Gay, Consensual, Implied homophobia, Jealousy, Karnage Has No Shame, M/M, Present Tense, Rope Bondage, Rough Sex, Sassy Karnage is Best Karnage, Sky Pirates Are Surprisingly Open, Stuffing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 11:57:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10921344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mister_Rat/pseuds/Mister_Rat
Summary: An alternative ‘solution’ to Baloo and Karnage’s situation in “Stuck on You”





	Cause Why Not

The Sea Duck traverses a dimming evening sky as the sunset’s colors reflect in the windows. All remains calm, the epitome of peace. Mostly due to a certain pirate being so quiet.

Quiet: not a word Baloo ever thought he would apply to _Karnage_ of all folks. Usually the captain would be yakking the bear’s ear off, insisting nonstop that he fly this ‘smelly excuse for a plane’ faster. In fact, that’s exactly what the canine had been doing up until a few minutes ago.

Since then he’s been utterly silent, eyes half-lidded as they stare off into space, lost in thought.

Not that Baloo has any complaints. Big guy has enough on his mind without his unneeded passenger spouting expletives and insults like cannon fire. Still, a part of him can’t help a twinge of wariness as to the absence of the canine’s usual bombastic personality. From what experience taught the bear, silence from anyone like Karnage never bodes well.

Especially if they have the weird glimmer in their eyes that the canine does right now.

 _‘Ah, I’ve outsmarted ol’ Karnie before,’_ the bear muses, ‘ _I can take whatever he’s got up his fancy gilded sleeve.’_

So enamored by his internal pep talk and intent on returning to Cape Suzette, especially after that fiasco with the other pirates, Baloo feels his shoulders almost flinch at the abrupt sound of Karnage’s voice, despite how oddly soft the scoundrel speaks this time.

“You know; we may be making this problema harder than it needs to be.”

Baloo scoffs with a sneer, rolling his eyes for good measure. “Gee, what makes ya say that?”

Karnage ignores the derisive tone in favor of rubbing his chin, the glimmer in his eyes brightening like a sharpened sword.

“It eez mostly our clothes subjected to this stickiness, no?”

The pilot slowly cranes his head the captain’s way with suspicious eyes. “What are you gettin’ at, Karnie?”

“Quite simple: you must remove your shirt.”

The plane’s spiraling dive happens so suddenly and quickly, Karnage marvels at his lack of whiplash. His (oh-most-certainly manly) screams careen through the sky just like the plane, most notably when he realizes how fast the ocean’s rushing up to meet them. A panicked sidle of the eyes reveals Baloo rigid in his seat, eyes wide and staring straight into empty space, body stiller than a statue.

In desperation, Karnage grabs the pilot’s hands and tugs them upward along with the steering wheel, raising the plane back up just before watery touchdown could happen. Once the Sea Duck returns to her former height, steady and calm once again, Karnage lets go and falls back into his sideways position with a relieved sigh before shooting a disbelieving glare on the somehow still unresponsive bear.

“ARE. YOU. _LOCO?!_ ”

To his surprise, Baloo whirls around and returns the same look perfectly, only somehow with even more bite and shock.

“ARE _YOU_ LOCO?!”

Oh, _now_ he wakes back up. Nice timing, you homicidal oaf!

Karnage could only roll his eyes, completely and utterly done with this fool and his shenanigans. “Conseedering your unsuccessful attempt on my fabulous life, I believe I am in the right to call out the hypocrisy in your rebuttal.”

That retort gets Baloo blushing and stuttering for a moment, much to the captain’s smug satisfaction. “Y-Yeah, well you don’t just tell a fella stuff like that!”

“And why pray tell not?” Karnage asked with a cross of his arms, “It eez a simple enough command.”

“That’s _not_ what I _meant!_ ” Baloo, lost in frustration, punctuates that statement with a downward fist to the console, narrowly missing the gyroscope. Realizing this adverted mistake, he takes a moment to reign in his temper. After a few deep breaths, he faces Karnage again with a composed yet still incensed expression.

“Look, you just don’t bring up stuff like that with another guy, just like how the cannons don’t just let you and your buddies go waltzin’ straight inta Cape Suzette!”

Oh. _Oh._

 _Now_ Karnage can see the problem. The captain shakes his head with a snort, muttering under his breath about ‘gringos’ and ‘their silliness’.

“What?” Baloo huffs in response, “I’m bein’ serious here!”

“Surprisingly,” Karnage utters with a smirk. He tosses a nonchalant look at his ‘partner’ as though they are only discussing furniture arrangements. “It eez not as though we do anything else.”

The look develops a devilish smirk as Karnage angles his head away, eyes never leaving Baloo.

“Unless of course, there eez something you would like to share, hmm?”

Pirates live on sharp eyes, Karnage no exception.

He spots the minute trembles in Baloo’s hands, the tightening of the bear’s fingers, the tension in the biceps visible below the sleeves, the hitch in his Adam’s apple, the suddenly present staggers in his breathing, and (Karnage notes with great interest) the way his legs tighten together, conveniently shielding the crotch.

A shred of pity touches the captain’s heart. He shakes his head with a soft scoff. “I almost feel sorry for you, Baloo. Having to hide something you can not help being. If you’d like, I can allow you a spot on my crew.”

Just as he expects, Baloo shoots him an incredulous stare, though not quite disgusted. Upon closer inspection, Karnage notes a twinge of temptation before it vanishes beneath clouds of denial.

“Sorry, Karnie, thievery and trickery ain’t exactly my song and dance.”

A chuckle darker than midnight and smoother than sin reverberates in the cockpit. It chills Baloo’s spine like no ice water ever has. The captain leans his head back until he can feel the tremor in Baloo’s nape.

“You are one to talk. How many times have I stumbled across you in the midst of a scheme of your own, pulling out every dirty trick you can think of just to get what you want?”

Thick furry fingers tighten their grip on the wheel.

“How often have you lied or spun tall tales to gain back your carefree life, to keep a semblance of freedom?”

Rage red and hot starts to bubble beneath gray-furred skin.

“And of all the times you saved the day, how many times were they to only undo what your scheming had caused in the first place?”

Baloo’s heart almost implodes from the sudden proximity of lupine lips to his right ear.

“So many people may be fond of you, mi amigo, but you are far from an angel. You are...”

“A guy makin’ a livin’. That’s all,” Baloo spits out, less force than he intended.

Such a modest response. Ignorant bear. Could have so much more out of life if he wanted.

Perhaps this situation called for... _deeper_ persuasion.

Karnage runs a tongue over the tips of his own fingers, never missing how Baloo’s eyes trace the movement through the reflections in the window. Those same fingers then hover near Baloo’s right forearm, close but not close enough, enough to make the ursine tense at the abortive touch.

“I am capable of empathy,” Karnage withdraws his digits, savoring the bittersweet relief that taints the sag in Baloo’s bulk, “If you wish, my beautiful self will grant your desires reprieve, satisfy them in ways we both know your Boss Lady never could. No need to be scared.”

Again the plane jerks downward, sending Karnage backward—well more sideways considering his gluey attachment—effectively ruining his façade. Right before his body can snap in two, the craft uprights with the same force, jostling him one final time.

Once again the lupine scowls at the pilot with unrestrained vexation.

Baloo never looks back, eyes unreadable under the shadow of his cap, yet his calm tone and terse words betray none of the frigid fury lurking beneath the surface.

“Don’t. _Ever._ Talk about Becky like that.”

So the oaf _does_ care for his annoying employer that way? Karnage knows a losing argument when he sees one and better than to push the bear. Not out of decency either, but rather because the futility of changing this bear’s narrow-minded viewpoints was obvious to the point of painfulness.

None of which explains the heat rising in the dog’s chest, heat irrelevant to the formerly welcomed strain in his trousers, or the mere thought that a simple cookie-cutter businesswoman would be more worthy of attention than his magnificent marvelous mysterious self. Or that for once in his life Karnage questions why he ever bothered being a rival with this stupid bear in the first place.

Deep, deep, calming breath—or at least as close to one as someone of his temperament can manage—a smooth glide of the hand over his head fur, mindful of the adhesion. He still has his dignity after all.

“Very well. Have your silly Boss Lady. You do not know what you are misseeng.”

“Damn right I don’t.”

Is that _regret_ in his voice? Curiosity melts away some of the ire from the pirate, enough that he dares to look the bear in the eye.

Baloo shakes his head as he runs his left hand through the tufts under his hat. Dark eyes glaze in wistful wonder. “I don’t clear out know myself, but I do know there’re parts o’ me I can’t show. Not even to Lil’ Britches. Becky can make me feel a lot of things, but not...”

The ursine pauses to take a trembling breath. “Sometimes I _do_ think about what it’d been like, if I stuck around with Lil’ Britches and joined yer crew.”

Karnage hitches his shoulders, jumping at the renewed opportunity. “You still can. I would make sure you are treated well, far better than you ever were in Cape Suzette. You would have more respect for certain.”

“Maybe things woulda’ been easier, maybe life woulda’ been more fun.”

“But of course, such is the life of a pirate.”

“So is havin’ to run away from the law, havin’ to take what you need.”

“Things you already do with the life you lead.”

The gears in Baloo’s mind, Karnage can see them turning, feel the impetus of the decision building up in the bear’s mind. Then slowly yet deliberately, those large hands tilt the wheel down, angling the plane towards a lone island in the distance.

Against his will, Karnage’s tail wags with intense zeal.

Half an hour later, the Sea Duck touches down on soft silver sands, the ocean’s breath filling the silence after Baloo cuts the engine, his sigh heavy from nervousness and anticipation. Waxing moonlight paints the larger man an entrancing sterling white, the resultant halo breathtaking even to Karnage’s ruthless heart.

Baloo speaks so softly, the fact his company hears is a miracle.

“Out or in?”

Karnage arcs an eyebrow at the simple question, slightly annoyed at the interruption to his ‘sightseeing’. Deep down, though, he also marvels at the innocent hesitation in Baloo’s voice. Of course, what did the captain expect? This would be the ursine’s first time with another man.

“I am quite certain we’ve already made our intentions towards clothing clear.”

The replying sigh could not be any louder.

“Out of or in the plane?” Baloo repeated at a slower yet impatient pace.

“Hmph! Talk like that gets you nowhere—except perhaps six feet under.” Not that Karnage had such intentions at the moment, but someone had to remind this oaf who the boss was.

“Wanna sin with a corpse then?”

A click of the tongue echoes sultrily within the plane’s interior. “Such a sharp tongue for one so round. I wonder how well can it fight?”

“Course you’d wanna make this into _that_ sorta thing.”

“You expect me to make this enjoyable for only myself, don’t you?”

“As much as I’d expect you givin’ me flowers and chocolates. Pirates don’t care for being nice.”

He speaks the truth. Karnage cannot deny niceness did not exist for pirates.

Niceness gets you arrested. Niceness gets you killed.

Karnage knows this fact of life better than anyone else. Just well as he knows this other truth as his hands cradle Baloo’s face like a basket and guide their lips into a gentle kiss.

Niceness and kindness are two different creatures altogether.

A firm grip upon the waist sends Karnage quivering, strong fingers attempting to ease up the hem of the canine’s vest, shy yet eager. His own hands ascend to a strong mature jaw, feeling that tempting mouth and its strong ursine teeth with his tongue. The canine senses his tail wave even harder this time.

Gingers strokes outline the area of visible chest within Baloo’s collar before both hands snake up that thick beefy neck, claws ghosting over the soft fur and callous skin hidden beneath. Little by little, the grips become tighter, the touches rougher, their mouths growing more hungry and desperate, claws digging into each other almost painfully at some points.

Eventually, their movements cause Baloo to tip forward and fall, crushing Karnage beneath his girth. Neither mammal pays any of the discomfort mind, so lost in each other.

Physical contact delves beneath their clothes, Baloo rubbing circles into the fur and muscle of Karnage’s back while the lupine starts kneading the bear’s pectorals and armpits. The pilot even giggles into his rival’s mouth without breaking the kiss, shoulders hitching from the ministrations to his tickle spots.

That’s when Baloo starts losing control. Not over his self but rather control over this entire experience.

He finds himself giggling and squirming as he watches Karnage ease away his own clothes, leaving them both bare and vulnerable. And that moment causes the bear, eyes wide and pupils now pinpricks, to feel one of his most un-favorite things in the world: panic.

Because once he realizes the direction of this venture, words from long ago scream in his thoughts.

_It’s atrocious!_

_It’s wrong!_

_You only reduce yourself like this!_

_Put an end to this now!_

He couldn’t. The sheer bliss and happiness all over Karnage’s mien seems so strange on such a wild face and yet...it’s soothing. Baloo finds himself cradling him now, powerful muscled arms supporting the lupine’s head and bare back while his rotund stomach cushions the smaller man like a warm fluffy pillow.

Karnage truly loves what they’re doing, and Baloo finds he does, too.

He’s as much of a goner as his rival and he could not care less. Karnage looks so beautiful, so passionate and willing that to stop now would feel like hurting an angel. No, a demon. A demon that only wishes to grant him reprieve and happiness. The enraptured pilot seals their lips back together and clings to Karnage even harder, surrendering himself to the moment.

Minutes pass in warm blur of moans and entangled limbs.

Alas, these men still need to breath. The parting drags out for what Karnage hopes to be long enough to last in Baloo’s mind until the grave.

Baloo turns his gaze down for a moment to consider his emotions, only to discover the pearlescent precum coating his and Karnage’s crotches, shimmering in the moonlight. Something about the sight makes him feel rebellious—and he goddamn loves it. A smirk possesses him as he feels Karnage lick him from the neck all the way up to the ears.

“Discard it," the demon cooes.

Faint sticky peeling sounds come when Baloo manages to remove his shirt with surprising ease, the clothing taking away a good chunk of the pesky glue. He’s pretty sure Karnie’s crowing triumphantly deep down at being proven right.

Turns out the canine does not consider it a priority.

Karnage licks his lips more fully, too entranced by the rippling muscles peeking out amongst the generous chub, which the lupine, now that he could appreciate it without the risk of teasing by his crew, has to admit possesses a beauty of its own. Gently pressing his left hand down on Baloo’s stomach, he takes time to feel how the roundness pushes back with all the fury of an overstuffed pillow. Eventually the caresses trail down the hill of warm flesh, rubbing slow teasing circles until his fingers feel the hot velvety shaft peeking from beneath.

Baloo’s sharp intake of air is instantaneous.

The Devil would melt at Karnage’s smile. “Oh Baloo, I had no idea you could be so handsome.”

“Can’t hold a candle to you, I bet.” Though Baloo states this in a joking tone as he helps his partner sit up, the light in his dark eyes reveals a deep sincerity Karnage finds himself lost in.

“So very true. You are close, though, if that is fair. Very, _very_ close. Allow me to demonstrate.”

A lick up the shaft later, Baloo grabs him by the head, almost breathless. “Ka-Ka-Karn—Jesus Christ!”

“Yes, swear for me, Baloo. Throw away those decencies for me,” the dog leans in and whispers into the bear’s stomach, “Join me in sin.”

Faster than a bullet, Karnage takes the whole dick _and_ scrotum into his mouth, the sensation a shock enough to Baloo’s system that it leaves the bear gasping for air, especially when the dog proceeds to suck long and hard, Baloo more than happy to pump in time with him. Then as quickly as he begins, Karnage freezes. Muffled sounds escape him as he pops his mouth off of Baloo’s privates and plants a hard kiss against the furry drenched sac.

When the hands against the pirate’s noggin increase their pressure, silently urging him to keep going, Karnage glances up and  discovers (to his deep satisfaction) Baloo huffing and puffing as though he’s run a marathon, body going hot with the hormones running rampant within the needy bear. With a simple nudge, he pushes the larger man back until Baloo has his back to the wall.

In seconds, Baloo feels his wrists tied up in something. Looking down, he discovers it to be Karnage's pants, twisted and tied to act like cuffs. With surprising strength, Karnage hoists Baloo’s arms up so that the pilot’s hands lay behind his head while the canine straddles his massive stomach.

“You love to eat, do you not?” Popping open a nearby bag on the floor, Karnage produces a taco and nudges it into Baloo’s snout. “Come, cariño, eat.”

“And if I don’t feel like it,” Baloo inquires with a teasing smirk, “whatcha gonna do about it?”

A hard grab to the balls forces Baloo to gasp. With his mouth nice and wide, the taco lodges into that gaping maw and meets its crushing end as Karnage takes the bear's jaw and manually works it to get the chewing going. In response, Baloo tightens his legs around the dog and grinds their lower bodies at a steady pace. Once the bear finishes off the taco, Karnage pulls another one out of the bag and repeats the process.

For the next few minutes, Baloo lets the pirate stuff him full and takes time to savor the flavor. The tacos only taste better after Karnage teases his precum onto them, adding the pirate’s delicious tang to the flavor. In turn, Baloo purposely moans after noticing how the first one riles up the canine even more.

When the last of the final taco departs down his throat, the bear smacks his lips with a satisfied smile. “ _Mmm_. Got anymore, Karnie?”

“You know better than me, silly bear. No need to worry. But first...”

“Karnie, what are ya—“

With some effort, Karnage places his hands on Baloo’s shoulders and pulls back his own pelvic area, the glue straining to pull him back in as expected. Then with a simple loosen of the legs, he lets the bond snap him back onto Baloo, slamming their crotches together. Baloo gasps hard and sharp from the sudden crushing sensation to his privates. 

“Kar...Karn...”

“Lupe...,” Karnage huskily whispers, “that eez what you will shout once our union comes.”

“ _Lupe...”_ Baloo speaks the name slow and dark as he rests his forehead against his partner’s, his curving lips driving the canine to slam himself even harder. More of their fluids start to spill out and mesh, causing their manhoods to stick together. Baloo works his arms until they loop around the canine’s body and presses Karnage closer in a semi-awkward hug. “Ah like that name.”

The pleased canine hybrid nuzzles his rival beneath the chin. “And I like how you speak it.”

“Lupe...,” Baloo reiterates while the dog wraps his arms around the larger mammal’s neck in a tight embrace of his own, “ _Lupe_...LU-pe...Lu-u-u-u-pe...Mm, such a fine name.” He drags his hands down to finger the canine’s slender waist. “A fine, _fine_ name for a mighty fine fella.”

A deep chuckle echoes behind Lupe’s closed lips, inviting. “Take me, Baloo. You know what you are wanting.”

He yelps at the feel of a huge hand gripping their manhoods together and squeezing over and over again. Longer and longer, harder and harder, until at last both men spill their essence over each other. They curse and groan and sigh, moaning the other’s name amidst sloppy kisses and half-choked grunts.

With a final shout of ecstasy, Lupe collapses prone atop of Baloo, limbs splayed over the bear’s body as the two animals’ breathing leave them hoarse yet relaxed. Meanwhile hot sticky white cum covers their torsos, the smells of wet canine and bear mixing into something heavy, primal, and engrossing all at once.

For a few minutes, both lovers lay in silence, lost in the afterglow. A few minutes later, Baloo strokes Lupe’s back, apologetic. “I didn’t feel ready, Lu. I know that must be a mighty serious disappointment ta you.”

Lupe merely sighs, not sounding surprised at all. “A sensitive soul to the end. How typical of you,” he stretches his arms as though waking up from a thorough pleasant nap, “I suppose there eez always next time. Now then, what do we say to the nice pirate that gave you the time of your life?”

The nuzzle Baloo gives him could not be more ironic. “Thanks but don’t expect dinner. I’ve seen yer table manners.”

“As if _you_ are one to be criticizing _my_ impeccable”—Lupe abruptly straightens his ears and arches a perfectly groomed eyebrow—“does...something feel different to you all of a sudden?”

Noticing the strange feeling as well, Baloo returns the puzzled look before observing their glued bodies and gingerly pulling himself and Lupe apart. To both men’s amazement, the glue flakes off before their very eyes! Just two tugs later, the pilot and pirate find themselves freed of their no-longer-sticky predicament.

Lupe huffs in amazement, hands akimbo. “Well, well, well! Seems this glue does not mingle well with sex fluids.”

“Huh,” Baloo scratches the back of his head in equal wonder, “well I’ll be. Good sex that doubles as a ticket to freedom. Helluva way to spend the night if I ever heard one.” He then faces Lupe with a resigned countenance, frowning sadly. “So uh, heh, I guess that’s it then, huh?”

The captain nods, equally dissatisfied that the end has come so soon. “Indeed, I am afraid. We must part ways now if we are to avert suspicion.”

“Right.” A smile peeks back on the bear’s snout as he snuggles Karnage’s side. “Although if ya ever got the time, Lu, what would ya say ta”—

“Have another chance to beat you in something for once?” The canine steals one last kiss from his teddy bear. “How could my talented self ever deny such a wondrous opportunity?”

**Author's Note:**

> I always liked the irony of the villains being more open-minded and tolerant than the designated ‘good guys’ (not that Baloo’s behavior is typical for a hero to begin with). 
> 
> Besides, there’s not enough gay in the Talespin fandom.


End file.
